Halloween Facebook Status Updates

Here are a variety of Halloween Status Updates you can use for your Facebook and Twitter accounts.

  • She’s got a couple of nice pumpkins on her porch.
  • Trick or Treat! Give me something good to eat. Give me candy. Give me cake. Give me something sweet to take.
  • on the 31st of October, beware of strangers bearing strange tools like chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, and band saws.
  • is hoping that this Halloween, I don’t end up with a bag full of restraining orders again.
  • do others also ask for high fibre candy on Halloween, or am I just getting old?
  • is wondering if Lady Gaga dresses up as a normal person for Halloween?
  • Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.
  • Halloween is huge in my house and we really get into the “spirits” of things.
  • Hold on, man. We don’t go anywhere with “scary,” “spooky,” “haunted,” or “forbidden” in the title.
  • Eat, drink and be scary.
  • forgot to buy candy for the kids this Halloween but will offer them a bite of his sandwich.
  • hopes nobody else dresses up as Justus von Liebig, Father of biochemistry who recorded minerals in plant ash and proposed the law of minimum.
  • wants to remind you this Halloween, that as a general rule, don’t solve riddles that open portals to Hell.
  • This Halloween, I’ll be handing out those little tiny candy bars. I think they’re called bite-me sized.
  • Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town? Because they don’t have any body to go out with…
  • I don’t have a Halloween costume, but I pretty much figured if I decide to go out I can wear something slutty and have people guess.
  • What do blondes and Jack-O-Lanterns have in common? Both have blank expressions and are hollow inside.
  • I’ll bet living in a nudist colony takes all the fun out of Halloween.
  • IF you hear scraping at the window, don’t worry its only a branch. The zombies use them to reach the windows.
  • If ZOMBIES attack I am so tripping YOU! If VAMPIRES attack trip ME and save yourself! ; )
  • Zombies are looking for brains to eat. Don’t worry you’re safe.
  • Why do I love Halloween? You get to scare the crap out of little kids, without getting in trouble!
  • Is off the pumpkin patch to wait for the great pumpkin! HAPPY HaLLowEEn!
  • Halloween, you’re never to old to have a little fun. To dress up and go crazy :] But most importantly you will NEVER be to old to get FREE candy!
  • Brooms back from the Shop, and Ready For Take Off!
  • will be handing out pre-packaged condiments from a wide assortment of fast food establishments for Halloween this year. Trick or treat.
  • By all means, you walk ahead of me so that when the monster jumps out of the bushes I can push you into it and make a break for it.
  • A pinata is NOT a good idea for a Halloween costume.
  • If ZOMBIES attack I am so tripping YOU! If VAMPIRES attack trip ME and save yourself! ; )
  • is bored, I think I might dress up as the Grim Reaper and go wave at the people in the nursing home. Who wants to come??
  • On a dark night, the doorbell rings. Outside is a scary group of clowns, gypsies & other strange creatures. It must be Halloween! The family reunion was in July
  • Halloween is coming so I think I will answer my phone with,”County morgue, we collect them, you select them. Halloween special 2 for 1.”
  • Halloween…the only time when u can actually walk out of Ur house looking like a zombie 🙂
  • …in the spirit of “going green” I will be using all natural spider webs for Halloween decorations this year. Your welcome!
  • The best part about Halloween is that people think the screams coming from our house are “part of the fun.”
  • Going trick or treating on the highway dressed up in a deer costume is NOT a good idea.
  • I’m ready for apple picking, pumpkins, Bonn fires, hoodies, crunchy leaves and Halloween!
  • ” HALLOWEEN “.. the one day I get to dress up and embarrass my kids.. legally.
  • I love you dearly but if you fall down in the cemetery and something grabs you, your on your own
  • Halloween: The one time of year your parents allow you to go out in the dark of night, dressed like a weirdo, and receive candy from strangers.
  • I’m not cleaning this week. I’m going to tell everyone the cobwebs and dust are part of the Halloween decorations!
  • Hip Hip Hooray! Halloween is near!! It’s not the ghoulies, ghosties or monsters I fear, it’s the 10 lbs of goodies that will go to my rear!!
  • I know its horrible to ask but.. could i borrow your face for Halloween?

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